Just feeling sad

It's been a long time since I blogged. Honestly I am overwhelm by emotions that's why I came back to this personal space of mine. Been so angry tonight and I think I am tearing apart. No it's not about friend, think there is a lill distance between my r/s and I am a disheartened by quite a few things. It's alrdy been 6 years! I know I need to give him time but honestly when exactly will be e right time? It's not that I desperate to hear e wedding bells. No. Its just that I feel that we need to move on to the nxt stage.. I was e one who encourage him To further his studies but at least let me see some lill effort put in to the nxt phrase. It's not a one dollar a Day kind of thing that will convince me that we will have a happy ending. I need more then that.. I need you to be more expressive more passionate more urge. Which is something that you will not usd. I know we have both been busy working an studying and I am sorry that I cannot rmb our 6 yrs anni till 2 days later but that was because I was flying across continents! Jet lag an stone diff.. But how could u forgot too? I know ur busy but still it hurts me quite alot to see that you don't really rmb it too. I was so eager to give u a surprise. To learn how to bake macaron to surprise u.. Bought u gifts.. But u? I know what u did in maldive was really sweet but honestly that was u family vacation not ours. I work my arse there just to spent the day with u which is a dream place that I always wanted to go with my beloved. It's just a bed nicely done up how can u call that a celebration? U said that I will nv be contented.. It's not that I am not contented but it's 6 yrs.. Should it e more than just that? It's getting a lill dull a lill stale and I wonder how long more it will take before everything crashes. I know u do alot of lill thing to make me Happy and maybe ur right.. I am just finding fault with u.. But have you thought why I keep finding fault with u? It's only because I love u so.. :,(

I think I almost forgot that I actually have a blog..

Life been very fulfilling and busy as I went back to pursue my marketing degree.

Have been in the airline for almost 1.5 years including training days. So far, I really love my job..enjoying the lifestyle, the shopping and the passion of serving people. Wonder how long will this last.. haha..

It's coming to an end of 2011, this year have been a great one for me. Everything is perfect. Love my bf, my family, my good friends, my bags, my clothes and my job.

Lost a few superficial friends but that's okay to me because I don't need hypocrites in my life too. As a matter of fact, I felt relieved that I don't have to hang out with them anymore. Not to all but just 2 in particular. Well, as long as the good ones stay by me right?

Booked tickets to bali with Claire and Qing Yi for January 2012. Yet another MCQ trip but this time without the K ): Gonna have so much fun with sea side activities and makan.. Really love them to bits and pieces.

End of this year, I have save some money but still not enough cause I spent more than I've saved. Well, next year shall push myself to save more $$.

On the 9th Dec is my deferred service quality exam, hopefully I can do well in it. I just want a straight CREDIT for all my modules and I will be contented enough. Really wanted to graduate and be stress-free.. another 1.5 more years to go!

FIGHTING!

Just done with my 4 days business class training. Will be a "premium" crew from now onwards. Unsure if I will be happier in economy or business class. Business less people but more finest further more got to work with the "red and purple" colour which can be a stressful thing. All I hoped for is to meet nice people onboard. 1st business class SNY is to shanghai and 2nd to Hanoi. Hopfully I can learn more things in these 2 sectors. Hands on leaning is after all way better than theory.

Going to Hong Kong with baby on 23rd-28th June. Till now I have not explored hk before!! I only did turnaround to hk which I hate very much. One of the most tiring and dreaded turnaround other than canton and APNN flights. LOL.

It's gonna be baby and my 5th year anniversary and I bet we will have lots of fun in hongkong. I am going to force him to sit roller coaster with me in ocean park and disneyland.. hehe..

5 years have passed and I am glad to say that I have really found the right man for myself. Yes, there may be up and downs, tempatations etc.. but all these incidents just made me realised that how much we loved each other and I want to go through all the hardships with him. God, please give me some faith and I believe that I will lead a blissful life with this guy that truely loves me from the bottom of his heart. It is not easy to find someone who can tolerateand understand me throughoutly so I hope that he can be successful in his carrer so we can get married asap.

Anyway, I think I am going back to complete my Marketing degree as I am already trained for J class. Just need some time to practice it onboard. 15 June I am heading to SIM for enrollment and I shall discuss my modules intake with the program chair and see how it goes. I want to finish my degree so that it will be easier for me to find a backup plan in the future. Although I really love my job now but there may be alot of variating factors like age and life after marriage.

Oh and my brother just got accepted into NTU for mechanical engineering and I am proud of him! Hopefully we all can graduate smoothly and do my parents proud. Hehee.

Claire, my bff is coming back on 18 June and I am so excited!! We have many facial and massage treatment together and I am so looking forward to it.. 7 more days to go!! Miss her bad!

That's all I got to write for now.. will update soon (=

Paris- City of romance

I was on a 9 days standby and I was called up for PARIS!!

How lucky can I get? I was in a half asleep mood so I thought CDG is CGK ( Jakarta) LOL. It was only when I read up about the station information than I realized I was heading to my ideal country! Maldive, Japan now Paris. All fulfilled.. haha! Shall look forward to new countries next.. maybe Sao Paulo Brazil?

Anw, I had 2 clear days there and no time was wasted. Shopping at Galeries Lafayette and Printemps had my pocket burned badly.. bought a Chloe on impulse but I really like it alot, 1 longchamp handbag for my mummy, Miu Miu and more longchamps for my friends. Really broke now. Damn..

Nice set of crew! Especially Aidah!

I even went to charles de gaulle etoile to buy the Lauduree Macarons that I am always craving for.. they said that Lauduree have the BEST macarons in Paris- The origin of macarons are from france! It's really taste awesome and these small round cakes really delights me!

The day after, some of my colleagues and I went to the catacomb - a famous burial place full of 6 million skeletons!! It's really eerie but surprisingly, I find the place beautiful in a way. The skulls and bones are arranged in a neat and creative manner and you only see the remains after descending a narrow spiral staircase of 19metres into the darkeness. Really feel goosebumps all over in that place. Totally an eye opener.

After Catacomb, we went for sightseeing at the legendary EFFIEL TOWER. OMG. Always wanted to visit the famous monument and how can I missed it!? We really took many camwhore shots with the tower and we headed back to the hotel feeling lethargic and yet fulfilling.

'

Despite all the wonderful things I like about Paris. I really got to say I hate the service over there. You can really feel the discriminations against chinese. Even if your really rich bought many LV, CHANEL etc, the service is still as bad. They really dislike us and they don't even give a hoot about serving you sincerely. I am not being biased or prejudice but sad to say it's true.

Nevertheless, I can't wait to be back in Paris again (=

I know.. I have no reason to be upset when I am the bitch over here..

I am the one that is indecisive and I am the heartbreaker..

I always thought that I am stable enough to settle down my my years bf..

I love him and I really do..

It took me 5 years to know what kind of person he really is..

I know he can be a good husband and will take very good care of me..

However, things sometimes got a bit dull and I feel lonely and neglected overseas..

What I didn't realised that I became vulnerable over time and I am allowing people to step into my life unknowingly..

This guy that I recently know got a strong chemistry with me. Got a good career work for the same airline and he is "my type" of guy but I know that if I happen to be with him.. I will have a hard time as well.. both are flying and he is much more eligible than I am.. I will not be happy as I will be feeling insecure all the time..wondering what he is doing on every other flights..

However, the most important thing that is holding me back is my wonderful bf..

I know it's hard to find someone that can love me for who I am entirely and I know.. once I chose to have fun.. that's it.. I can never turn back and I deserved every consequences of it..

He will not be there for me anymore and he might even hate me..

I am unsure if I am plain honest or a dumb arse..

I told my bf that I am actually liking someone else and I may not be ready to settle down after all. His family came to know about it and I guess they will judge me from now onwards.. even if I chose him.. things will not longer be the same because I am selfish..

I guess.. I will just move on.. and see what I really want.

What have I done wrong?

You should know that I don't deserved this..

IMU ):

My blog have been rusty.. time for a short update.

Will be meeting my Ward leader tml and most likely I will know if I will pass my probation by 12 march. Which is on my b'day! *Pls give me a good news tomorrow so I can have a double joy on the 12th. *

This year, I am very happy to celebrate my b'day with my MCQK cliques, bf and his family, w66p and of cause, the gathering with my girls tomorrow at white rabbit. As for my own family, I guess I will be celebrating when I am back from Osaka. =D

Throughout this 5 months of flying, I would say I ♥ my job. It is what I have expected way before I joined the airlines. Politics, zapping, bullying, backstabbing, tryer? blar blar blar... I already had a taste of it. However, all these issues doesn't bother me much. I am a happy go lucky person and I will not allow all these idiots ruin my career or my mood. Of cause, it's hard but I ain't gonna see the same fucked up face the next flight. I'll just continue to pray hard that I will always meet nice and friendly crew.

So far, I really enjoyed flying around and visiting all the places of attraction that I might never go if not for this job. Like Maldives and Japan, I've always wanted to go since young. My wish is fulfilled by the age of 22. I've have a well paid job that pays me to travel around.. what else can I asked for?? Hopefully down the road, in 2 years time I will still be loving my job and still be happily flying around.

My main concern right now is to settle down with my bf asap as I really think that he is the MR.RIGHT for me. He treats me like a princess and he cares for my family. He is filial, sensitive ( in a good way), sincere, fun loving and the most important thing is that he LOVES me.

Sometimes, my thoughts might wander around but at the end of the day, it just made me realized how much I cherish this relationship and how important he is to me.

I am really happy with my current life now. I have everything which I need. Happy and complete family, dream job, Loving BF, Caring "in-laws" family, Good friends. Please let things stay this way forever (=

Last but not least, I am so excited as I will be having my 1st double C bag at the end of March. HAPPY MEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!